And The Winner Is
by LadyOfTheDrakon
Summary: Jon Shepard and Ashley are enjoying themselves in the busy commons when they get into a slight argument. Jon comes up with an idea to resolve it that may cost both of them.


Had this on my laptop for a while and decided to just put it up. Especially since there haven't been any new Shepley stuff for a while.

There's probably some grammatical mistakes but whatever.

Disclaimer, I don't own the ME series, its characters, yada yada. You know the drill.

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Jon and Ashley were sitting at Apollo's Cafe watching the various people walk by.

"Lot of people here today" Jon said eating another cheese fry.

"Sure are. And they seem pretty happy too," Ashley agreed taking a fry herself. "How many of these have you eaten?" She asked, eyebrow raised.

Jon took another fry and looked at the many empty baskets on their table. "Just a few," he shrugged eating the fry and waving for another order.

"A few, right" Ashley rolled her eyes.

"Come on," Jon said nudging her. "I need the calories."

Ashley raised her eyebrow as she watched him dig into his new order as soon as it came. "They're full of fat too you know" she said poking his side.

Jon just smiled and patted his stomach "I think I'll be alright. Besides looks aren't everything right?"

Ashley scoffed "Jon. Everyone judges on appearance."

Jon thought for a moment. "Yeah I guess you're right," he said a little disappointed. "At least we have nothing to worry about" he said smiling and picked up a fry.

"Well I don't" Ashley chuckled and stole his fry.

Jon looked at her in shocked, both for what she said and stealing his French fry. "What do you mean?" He finally said, sliding the basket away before she could pick another one up.

"Oh nothing, nothing," she said putting her chin on her hand to hide her smile.

"Nothing my ass" Jon said leaning toward her squinting his eyes in mock anger. "You think you're better looking than me don't you?"

"I didn't say that" she answered innocently.

"But you think it, don't you?"

Ashley couldn't hide her smile anymore. "Maybe a little," she said bringing her hand up so her index finger and thumb were less than an inch apart.

Jon sat straight again and raised his eyebrow. "What makes you think that?"

"I have an award winning smile, big brown eyes, and long eye lashes," she explained tilting her head up and batting her long lashes at the commander.

Jon chuckled. "But I have the broad chin and jaw, great voice, and rock hard body," he said flexing his arms.

"But I have these," Ashley said pointing to her chest, smiling and silencing Jon.

Not wanting to accept defeat, Jon sat back and scratched his scruffy beard, thinking of a way to settle their argument. Ashley, believing she had won, went back to people watching.

After a moment of deep thought, Jon sat straight again. "I've got it," he said with a large smile.

Ashley looked at him with a quizzical look. "What do you mean?"

Jon's smile became mischievous then and leaned towards her. "Strip. High. Five."

Ashley's mouth dropped. "What?"

"It's a game we used to play on Minoir to mess with everyone" he explained as he ate his fries casually.

"Really? And what kind of game was this?" Ashley asked stealing another fry.

Jon smiled. "It's simple. You go to a crowded place and take turns asking for high fives. If you don't get high fived back, you have to take off your clothes. You keep going until someone's naked."

Ashley blinked in astonishment. "What kind of game is that?"

"A simple one. Like strip poker except less private, but usually a lot more drinks." Jon chuckled.

"And what would this have to do with whose better looking?" She asked remembering what brought up this 'bright' idea.

"The most appealing person will get the most high fives," Jon explained, nodding toward the crowded walkway.

"You're crazy" Ashley said, shaking her head.

"What are you?" Jon said leaning toward her again. "Chicken?"

Ashley tilted her head away. "That's not going to work Jon."

Shepard smiled, knowing that it did annoy her, and scooted to her other side. "Are you saying that I'm the better looking one?"

Ashley looked the other way. "You're acting like a kid."

"You're acting like a scaredy cat." He said, purposefully using childish jargon. "Come on. Just one game could end this." He almost whined, pulling her hand.

"It could end us" she shot back yanking her hand away.

"We're Spectres. The Council wouldn't kick us out for something like this. Besides it would make for great news." He said holding his hands up as if he was framing something. "Second human Spectre butt naked on Commons!"

Ashley laughed "It would make some news" she agreed and stood up. "But I wouldn't be the naked one, you would" she said poking a finger in his chest.

Jon smiled and stood, starring her down. "What makes you think I would lose?"

"Because you would." She chuckled as the two began to walk toward the crowded walkway.

"Why don't we make this a bit more interesting then?" He asked as they stopped in a good spot. "Loser has to walk back to the Normandy naked."

Ashley laughed. "Oh you are so on" she said as they stood a few feet away from each other and into the oncoming walkers.

"Ladies first" Shepard nodded to her.

"Age before beauty," she countered.

Jon chuckled and brought his hand up when a teenage human came into range. "High five!" The boy looked at him but slowly brought up his hand, thus high fiving the commander. Shepard smiled toward Ashley.

"You got lucky." She said and brought her hand up to an older man. "High five" she said smiling. The man immediately high fived her and winked causing her to laugh.

Jon just pouted.

Both went a few rounds with success, gaining a bit of attention from the various species shopping and loitering around them.

"Well I guess we're both fairly approachable" Ashley said, both happy and disappointed that they have been successful.

"Until they get to know you" Jon said smiling earning a glare from the woman.

"Hey Shepard!"

Both Spectres turned to see Joker and EDI standing down the corridor.

"What are you doing?" He asked, slowly walking toward them.

"Playing strip high five" Jon smiled.

Joker laughed, knowing full well what the game was. "How's it going?" He asked, though the answer was obvious.

"It's a tie so far" Ashley answered.

Joker scratched his beard and then whispered something to EDI. She looked at him unsure, but he reassured her and she soon walked toward Jon as Joker sat on a nearby bench.

Jon smiled and brought his hand up. EDI did the same, but as he swung she brought her arm down. "Jeff said that he wanted to 'get the ball rolling'" she said and walked back to stand next to Joker.

"What the hell was that?" Jon yelled to his 'friend'. Joker just laughed.

"Come on skipper." Ashley said, gaining Jon's attention. "That counts as a miss."

Jon sneered but took off his leather N7 jacket and sat it on the ground. A few people looked quizzically at him but still thought nothing of it.

Ashley laughed and held her hand up to an Asari woman, but she just walked by. Jon laughed as Ashley glared into the back of her head and took off her blue jacket.

The two went a couple of more rounds, both having lost their boots and socks. A Turian, however, ignored Jon causing him to lose his shirt, making him have to stand shirtless. A few women swooned at his toned torso but most looked at him as if he were crazy, and men glared at him. Jon looked at Ashley, whom was eyeing his body. He smiled, but it soon fell when he counted her articles of clothing. She still had her bra, underwear, skirt, and tank top; while he only had his jeans and boxers.

"You're wearing more clothes than me," he said pouting, a little angry at himself for not realizing it sooner.

"That's not my fault" she said, smiling, as she received another high five. She obviously knew that when they started playing.

Jon just muttered to himself, but soon pulled on the charm as a young woman came his way. The woman smiled and high fived the commander, eyeing him as she walked passed. Jon smiled back, then found in his hand a folded restaurant napkin with her email address on it. He chuckled and showed Ashley.

"You better throw that away" she scowled.

Jon put it in his back pocket "It doesn't hurt to have options" he joked.

Ashley rolled her eyes, she'll hit him later. Then she held up her hand to a Krogan, but he just sneered at her and walked by.

Shepard laughed, he couldn't wait to see what she would choose, her tank top or skirt.

Ashley decided on her skirt, since her tank top could cover some of her, and slipped it off revealing black lace. This gained much attention as men whistled and women glared, though she did catch a few Asari eyes.

"Damn Williams" Joker yelled. "I didn't think you the lace kinda girl." Ashley just brought her hand up to her face, embarrassed.

"I could tell Joker a few things." Jon said with a sly smile.

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Soon Garrus walked up to Joker. "What are they doing?" he asked confused with his friends' appearance.

"It's an old earth game that a few colony kids still play." Joker answered and quickly explained as they watched. Ashley had just lost her tank top, causing her and Shepard to become the center of attention. Now dozens of people were taking pictures and recording them. A few C-Sec officers came by but ended up letting the game continue and even began placing bets. "Why are they doing this?" Garrus asked, watching as Ashley's face became red and Shepard laughed, though he was obviously trying to avoid looking at her.

"Because it's fun" Joker said as if it were the answer to everything.

Garrus stood for a moment then walked toward Shepard.

"Garrus" Jon smile and held up his hand. But like Edi before him, Garrus brought up his hand and took it away.

"I think this is my favorite spot on the citadel" Garrus laughed as he continued to walk to get a better seat.

"Betrayed by your own friends and crew" Ashley smiled. "Off with the pants."

Jon looked at her but quickly looked away, not wanting this to be even more awkward. He sighed and slid of his jeans, so he stood in only his boxers.

Ashley laughed but became serious remembering that it was her turn and had a lot more 'objects' that could be shown than Shepard. She decided to high five a woman, since the men now knew that giving high fives were bad for them. Thankfully the woman knew how the game went and returned the high five.

Jon cursed to himself but smiled when a young boy and his mother came walking by. He bent down to the boy's level and held up his hand. His smile grew when the boy held his hand up, but it dropped when the mother pulled her son away. Jon sat in shock as he heard the mother scolding her son and crowds of people swooned, cursed, and laughed.

He had lost.

"Take it off!" Ashley yelled and laughed as the crowed began to chant her words.

Jon looked at the ground and rubbed the back of his head, thinking on whether he should do it or not. After a moment though, he smiled widely and held his head up high as he took his boxers off. The crowds went wild. People were taking pictures and passing credit chits. A couple of women even fainted and men were silenced as Shepard swung his boxers around and walked in all of his glory. Then he went to Ashley and picked her up, bridal style, and walked a 'vitcory' lap with her. She just laughed and hid her face in his neck.

"Who do you think really one?" He asked as he made his way to the elevator with her still in his arms.

"I don't think either of us did. Especially when the council finds out." She laughed.

"I guess it doesn't help that we have to go through a security check point either huh?" He chuckled back.

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There you go.

I wrote this after an episode of Impractical Jokers (so forever ago), and since my Shepard is pretty much a big kid with Ashley I thought this fit him and their relationship pretty well.

I have a few Shepley one shots saved but they're angsty so I probably won't post them right away. We'll see though.


End file.
